Here’s How We Would Vanquish Five of the Most Common Classic Monsters if Faced With Them Today:

There is a ton of misinformation out there regarding self-defense and shooting, even more so when it comes to facing classic Halloween-themed threats.

When dealing with classic creatures that exist outside of science and natural law, how would one even begin to speculate how today’s modern options would perform?

To get you into the Halloween spirit, we’re doing just that!!

Getting down to business.


Here’s How We Would Vanquish Five of the Most Common Classic Monsters if Faced With Them Today:

WEREWOLVES

As far as hunting wild monsters go, Werewolves are a delightful challenge for the man or woman who wants a little danger in their lives. Werewolves are typically animals you find in the wild, but with the expansion of cities and suburbs, more and more non-hunters are encountering these werewolves.

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Suburban and urban dwellers can most certainly take a page out of the average werewolf and dangerous game hunter. Werewolves are big furry critters with thick hides and lots of muscle. Penetration in the name of the game and your average EDC won’t do it. You want a powerful cartridge and the right cartridge material.

Silver is, of course, the only choice for dealing with werewolves. What sucks is silver is expensive but with the right caliber, you should only need one. I would suggest 10mm at a minimum. A 44 Magnum or 41 Magnum would be an even better choice. Silver is luckily a great penetrator. The downside is that it’s only suitable for werewolves and will over-penetrate lesser threats.

Many an experienced hunter of monsters will load their revolver with a lead than silver round with alternating preference. The idea is the first round hurts them, and the second round kills them. With the price of silver being so high, it makes sense to compensate with regular lead rounds.

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VAMPIRES

We all probably know a vampire in our lives who is positively draining when it comes to emotional and mental health. Those monsters are real. Unfortunately, good boundaries and the ability to tune out is the only cure for those vampires.

For those blood-sucking leech-like monsters, we only have one choice, and that’s wood. For some reason, regular vampires are entirely resistant to lead, copper, and other projectiles. Silver may have some effect but a lead stake to the heart is the only way to be sure.

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This limits you to two guns, revolvers, and shotguns. Pump-action shotguns loaded with stake shells seem to work, and so do single and double-barrel guns. Revolvers also function well with a wood stake shot. Longer cylinders are often better. A good 357 Magnum cylinder works. I use a Model 60 loaded with 38 Special wood stake loads. The right ammo will have a copper jacket around the stake, and this engages the rifling.

Ignore the wood only rounds as they tend to be inaccurate in revolvers. When it comes to vampires, shot placement is everything. You have to hit them in the heart, and that’s tricky. You have to dedicate a lot of time practicing heart shots. If you live in the North East, you have to be prepared for these vamps and exercise your heart shots. Also, if you encounter a vampire, it’s likely to be at night, have a weapon light, and take some night time shooting courses. Night sighs, red dots, and weapon lights are all excellent tools for dealing with Dracula.

ZOMBIES

The undead is more or less just a pest. Yeah, they are dangerous, but their slow movement and less than average intelligence make them easy to dispatch. The biggest problem is the undead advocates campaigning to stop zombie eradication. If you encounter a zombie, these days’ caliber isn’t as important as shot placement.

You have to destroy the medulla oblongata with a good headshot. Zombies also rarely travel alone, so you may want a firearm with a relatively high capacity. A Glock 19 is an excellent choice with its low recoil and fast follow up shots as well as easy concealability.

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Even better, I’d go with a MOS model or any 9mm handgun with the ability to add a miniature red dot. Mini red dots make you faster, more accurate, and able to pick zombies off at longer ranges. Best of all, it allows you to transition between the horde of the undead quickly and pop them off before they get even closer. Zombies are more of a pest than a threat, but they are still monsters.

GHOSTS

Ugh, ghosts are the worst! If you get a spirit in your house, you better be prepared for the long haul. They are worse than bed bugs, worse than my now ex-mother in law, worse than roaches, spiders, flies, and more. Not only are they an invasive species, but they make it cold, they tend to really bring a mood down, and moan too much.

The big problem is you can’t kill a ghost. You have to dissuade it from occupying or solve its unfinished business. I don’t have time to help Samuel from 1849 reunite with his lost love Lorraine, so I have to load up and get to business.

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What works for Ghosts is rock salt loaded in a shotgun shell. It won’t kill a ghost but it will disperse them for a short period of time. This will give temporary relief and hopefully convince the ghost to pass on or get the hell out of my house. Rock salt rounds are pricey and may damage your walls, so set-up an area to ambush the ghost first. Hang tarps to catch the salt that passes through Ghostie McGhost face.

You may have to apply a few different blasts overtime to convince the ghost to get out, so be prepared for him or her, or it to come back after the initial blast.

WITCHES

Witches be trippin! From Salem to Oz, witches have made up a huge part of American folklore and classic Hollywood films.

Looking to take down a witch of a greater magnitude than Witch Hazel? Get your inner Dorothy on by arming yourself with a Spyra One, a high-tech water gun charged by USB that can accurately hit targets up to 25 feet away.

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Warning: although it may be tempting, try not to nail children who show up at your door wearing a black pointy witch hat with this sweet super soaker on steroids. That type of behavior will most likely be frowned upon in neighborhoods across the nation.

Trick or Treat?

Well, we just had some good clean fun with this one but remember: a good gun goes a long way… and so does an excellent means to carry it! At CrossBreed, we handcraft holsters that allow you to carry the right weapon for the right threat in constant comfort. No tricks, all treats!

Wishing you and yours a safe and happy Halloween from all of us at CrossBreed Holsters!

About The Author:

Travis Pike is a former Marine Machine gunner who served with 2nd Bn 2nd Marines for 5 years. He deployed in 2009 to Afghanistan and again in 2011 with the 22nd MEU(SOC) during a record-setting 11 months at sea. Travis has trained with the Romanian Army, the Spanish Marines, the Emirate Marines, and the Afghan National Army.

He serves as an NRA certified pistol instructor and pursues a variety of firearms based hobbies.

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